Lord take —

Please take away this fear. I don’t know how to hand it to you. I would if I could. I would reach and find it if it could be found in one place within me. I would grab it with what strength I have and reach my arms out and give it to you to destroy. I would do that if I could find you — if I could find you in one place.

All of the words I have, Lord, are pictures that are not real. Lord, the only thing I know to do is to speak to you like this. To ask you to give me strength. Or to help me to keep my mind directed toward you. To pray. To not dwell. To not guess at. To not trust the motivations and hatreds in the world more than I trust your ever-goodness.

Everywhere I look I see injustice. I do not want to wait for death to see everything come out right. Lord, I know why many people do not believe in you — why it is hard to trust you. Please do not turn away from me speaking in this way. I do trust in you, but it is hard to trust your children. My brothers and sisters are as hard to trust as strangers.

Lord remove these fears. Of those who find pleasure in destruction, and those who win praise for destruction, of those who nurse destruction as a mother feeds her newborn.

Why do I see violence in every direction?

I trust in your direction. I turn toward your direction. Orient me away from fear and toward you instead.

Help me to not say, “Thank God that I’ll die someday,” while also fearing death.

Save me from this body of death! Save me from these worlds of death and rest my ark on Your Mountain.